Signs Of A Troubled Relationship

Anyone who's been in​ a​ long term relationship will tell you​ there are rough periods,​ and most people,​ when they’re honest,​ will admit to​ doubts along the​ way. But sometimes we don’t know how to​ assess,​ “Just how bad is​ it?” Here's a​ list of​ symptoms that suggest a​ relationship is​ in​ trouble. the​ more symptoms you​ think are true for you​ and/or your partner,​ the​ more likely your relationship is​ in​ need of​ some help. if​ you​ have three to​ five checked off,​ you​ probably need a​ tune-up. More than five,​ it’s time to​ consider more serious therapy,​ either alone or​ with your partner,​ or​ in​ some cases,​ both.

Below this list is​ another one,​ “Signs of​ Severe Relationship Problems.”

You feel worse around your partner than you​ do when you’re on​ your own.

Your self-esteem has plummeted since you’ve been together.

Either you​ or​ your partner,​ or​ both of​ you,​ are dishonest with each other.

You often feel hurt by how you​ are treated by your partner,​ instead of​ feeling good while being together.

You complain frequently about your relationship to​ others.

One or​ both of​ you​ have become frequently critical of​ each other.

You are unable to​ approach your partner with your concerns in​ a​ reasonable way,​ without exploding in​ anger or​ using passive aggressive (sarcastic,​ outwardly compliant but inwardly defiant) behavior. or​ you​ expect that any confrontation will only result in​ an​ unproductive fight with no change in​ the​ situation. you​ feel you​ must walk on​ eggshells most of​ the​ time.

Most if​ not all of​ the​ issues that come up between you​ remain unresolved,​ even when you​ do try to​ sort them out together. Therefore,​ one or​ both of​ you​ often take a​ “why bother?” attitude about dealing with issues. This is​ different from “choosing your battles,​” because even important issues remain unresolved and “go underground.”

You lose your enthusiasm about life,​ and have given up most of​ your hobbies,​ friends,​ or​ interests that were important to​ you​ before getting into the​ relationship. Instead you​ are consumed about the​ difficulties you​ are having in​ your relationship.

You no longer trust your mate. This one is​ tricky,​ because some of​ us have trust issues,​ and find it​ hard to​ trust anyone. you​ may need help in​ exploring this with people who know you​ (and possibly your partner) well. of​ course,​ sometimes the​ doubts turn out to​ be warranted.

Little things about your relationship bother you​ and you​ can’t let them go.

You find yourself more drawn to​ priorities outside the​ relationship than spending time together.

Your sex life has dwindled down to​ very infrequent or​ none at​ all,​ and at​ least one of​ you​ is​ unhappy about it.

One or​ both partners have become closer to​ someone else than with each other. This can be an​ emotional affair,​ or​ it​ can even be a​ friend,​ sibling,​ parent,​ or​ even one of​ the​ children. Obviously the​ most destructive of​ these is​ if​ there is​ an​ actual affair. Online relationships are just as​ destructive as​ if​ they were in​ person.

You find yourself reverting to​ behaviors that take you​ away from your partner that are not likely to​ support a​ healthy lifestyle: drinking too much,​ spending too much time zoning out with electronics – computer,​ video games,​ TV; escaping into your work; finding more satisfaction in​ singular sex (po​rnography,​ escapist fantasies,​ etc.) than with your partner.

Did you​ answer Yes to​ three or​ more symptoms?


Signs of​ Severe Relationship Problems

If you​ are experiencing any of​ these symptoms,​ it​ is​ time to​ address them as​ soon as​ possible. it​ is​ usually very difficult to​ address these problems on​ your own,​ and getting help,​ or​ in​ certain cases getting out,​ if​ anyone is​ being abused by the​ relationship,​ including the​ children,​ is​ advisable.

You are afraid of​ your partner,​ because you’ve learned to​ expect an​ angry response that comes with name-calling,​ crude or​ abusive insults,​ or​ fits of​ rage.

You no longer speak to​ each other beyond the​ very basic necessities of​ shared living space.

One or​ both of​ you​ use indirect,​ passive-aggressive means to​ “get to” the​ other,​ and you​ often have the​ feeling that you’ve been punched in​ the​ stomach but don’t know why.

You or​ your partner spend nights away from the​ home without calling to​ let the​ partner know where they are or​ when they’ll be home. a​ lesser version of​ this,​ but still damaging to​ the​ relationship,​ occurs when one or​ both partners frequently stay out partying with others without their partner until very late.

Any incidence of​ domestic violence,​ including throwing objects,​ shoving,​ hitting,​ kicking,​ biting,​ or​ physical aggression against the​ other person. “Lesser” versions of​ this,​ but still very destructive,​ occur with violence against pets,​ or​ threats of​ violence against any living being. Still of​ concern is​ when one or​ both partners throw objects at​ walls,​ break things in​ the​ house,​ or​ otherwise destroy property.

Any incidence of​ threatening the​ other partner,​ suggesting they’ll hurt you​ (or you’ll hurt them) directly or​ by hurting themselves. (Some threats of​ suicide are thinly veiled attempts to​ make their partner feel so guilty that they become afraid of​ saying or​ doing anything that might upset their partner,​ such as​ leave the​ relationship.)

One or​ both partners use and abuse recreational drugs,​ including alcohol,​ on​ a​ regular basis,​ to​ the​ extent that it​ disrupts the​ relationship. This is​ the​ individuals issue and may not be an​ indication that the​ relationship is​ in​ trouble – the​ person is​ in​ trouble,​ and their drinking/using will very negatively affect the​ relationship.

One or​ both partners are using their children to​ hurt their partner,​ or​ using them to​ send messages back and forth to​ their partner.

When a​ couple has this much distress in​ their lives,​ people might wonder why do they stay together? But there are many ways a​ couple feels locked in,​ primarily because of​ children and finances. Sometimes there is​ a​ real threat that if​ one partner makes any move to​ leave,​ the​ other partner will actually try to​ harm them in​ some way. These are highly abusive situations which are beyond the​ need of​ therapy,​ and a​ partner may need to​ use local resources of​ a​ safe house from domestic violence.
Signs Of A Troubled Relationship Signs Of A Troubled Relationship Reviewed by Henda Yesti on January 12, 2018 Rating: 5

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